ohblainers:

If you ever think your parents are too hard on you just remember that Mufasa materialized as a cloud to tell Simba to get his shit together.

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

science-and-coke:

oddbagel:

eggito:

BOOBS ARE LITERALLY LUMPS WITH SMALLER LUMPS ON TOP WHAT IS SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A LUMP!!!!

What is sexually attractive about any human body part really? Penises are just tubes with lumps connected to them. Asses are also just lumps. Your face is just a collection of different types of lumps and there’s a hole on it. Everything is just a lump. I can’t get off to this. Now, a rhombus, that’s something I could fuck the shit out of.

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Masterpost of My Favorite 5sos DM’S

5sos-lol:

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see, nothin to worry about guys

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that’s wonderful news, ash

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I have no words for this…?

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smooth as a tumblr user, ash

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MICHAEL GORDON CLIFFORD HOW DARE YOU

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luke stop lying how much u wanna bet u guys are gonna get ‘krunk’ again 

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omg

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well you’re the only one who graduated along with Ash, but he still thinks tadpoles are baby turtles

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luke u horny walrus what would liz think of these messages

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last but not least my ultimate favorite :-)